Agony and ecstasy,
Shattering, consolidating,
Bliss and chaos,
Moving hurting.
Trust versus jealousy,
Inhibition, exhibition,
Bittersweet and tangy,
Sunshine and thunder.
Desperation, liberation,
Black, white even red,
Draining yet powerful,
Words said, moments shared.
Looks that say it all,
Sweet surrender in your arms,
Passion and oxygen,
Love is all that and more.
Shattering, consolidating,
Bliss and chaos,
Moving hurting.
Trust versus jealousy,
Inhibition, exhibition,
Bittersweet and tangy,
Sunshine and thunder.
Desperation, liberation,
Black, white even red,
Draining yet powerful,
Words said, moments shared.
Looks that say it all,
Sweet surrender in your arms,
Passion and oxygen,
Love is all that and more.
posted by FateGlimpse | 5:50 AM
4 Comments:
Hi! Thanks for visiting my blog. I sort of thought up an interesting take on this poem. If you ignore the last stanza altogether, and in each stanza, think of the ideas in the first line as the subjects (Agony, Ecstacy, Trust, jealousy...) and think of each of the adjectives in the following lines as words describing the subjects. So you have Agony and ecstacy, where agony is shattering - ecstacy is consolidating... Truth is inhibition, jealousy is exhibition....you see what I mean?
I kind of subconciously did this while reading the poem and I was a bit disappointed when I came to the last stanza and realised that you were describing love... (Not that that's a lower ideal, It just seemed a lot more original otherwise)
Honestly, I liked your prose more than your verse. Keep the good stuff coming...
hmmm interesting take indeed. i know what you mean. I didn't want to write a love poem, but it just came to me-it just seemed to fit. that's y it's untitled, the last verse just followed through. and i've written abt 3 poems in my whole life so i'm really not well-versed with rhythm,meter,etc. but sometimes i feel poetry can be a lot more expressive and fluid. anyway thanx for ur comments. and i have a few questions- i'm interested in being a sort on/off member of chaterati. i mean i'd like to contribute but not on a regular basis, so do you have any idea how to go about it? and do members in pune meet up?
Without being too critical, I actually like the poemas it stands. Or perhaps, it is because today is Valentines day and my frame of mind kinda leans towards being romantic.
am not one for love stuff, really, over the years it generally embittered me, but the wordplay here is good
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