Murphy's laws

There are some days when it rains like the world's coming to an end, yet professor's merrily waltz into class, untouched and unscathed. You're soaked to the bone, clearly surviving on that one feeble hope that classes will be cancelled-after all the city's flooded. But classes stretch an hour or two longer than usual. You enter your room in a particularly vile mood to see that your roommate's entire wardrobe's on the floor, beds, everywhere. Arrrrgggh. To add to that , the shittiest, most inedible blobs are being served at the mess. Oh and you're broke, their's no one to hear you crib 'cause the cell's out of balance, so you're left to wallow in your misery. You look into the mirror, try to smile at yourself and notice that you're having a particularly bad hair day.
Gosh, it seriously seems like the entire universe is deviously conspiring against you. Nothing's going right, and everything's a mess. And they seem to be getting worse. You couldn't feel more off colour. Time to tune into some Murphy's laws. They promise to offer you some Karmic relief at best, or atleast a few wry laughs. Here's an assortment:

• If anything can go wrong, it will.
• Smile .....tomorrow will be worse.
• If you're feeling good, don't worry you'll get over it.
  
• If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
• A patent application will be preceded by one week by a similar application by an independent worker.
• Variables won't, constants aren't.
• The probability of a young man meeting a desirable, receptive young female increases when he is already in the company of : a date/ his wife/ a better looking and richer male friend.
• Beauty multiplied by brains= constant.
• If in the course of several months, only 3 worthwhile social events take place, they will all fall on the same day.
• Anything labelled new/ improved isn't.
• Multi-function gadgets won't perform any function adequately.
• How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.
• Archimedes' principle: When a body is immersed in water, the phone rings.
• The pimples don't appear until the hour before the date.
• A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
• You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
• Four wheel drive means getting stuck in more inaccessible places.
• Wind velocity increases with the cost of the hairdo.
• The overwhelming pre-requisite for the greatness of an artist is that artist's death.

Cheers!