Disconnected

Suicides have always scared me(suicide cases like the bright iitian boy's, nafisa joseph's suicide,etc have prompted me to post on this issue). The fact that people who seem to have it all(fab looks like those in nafisa's case,money, enterprise, above-average intelligence) buckle under pressure and feel pushed into the darkest corner of no-return is very unsettling. Why did these souls feel so lost, so alone and so hapless? How did they lose hope and faith? Couldn't peers, professors or even family guage the intense dissatifaction they had with life in general?
So this one's to those who harbour ideas like life's way too hard. There's always a shoulder to cry on, always someone who'll care.

We all go through phases of depression in our lives-some last for days, some fizzle away in a few hours. These negative feelings are triggered off for different reasons- academics, trauma, unrequited love, or sometimes the inertia in our lives. These complex feelings are too difficult to express and suppress, so they just keep building up. And you start to feel disconnected with the rest of the world, you feel like an alien on some weird planet. In these godforsaken times, what are your solutions? Someone who's engagement just broke off isn't going to simply 'move on'. Just like someone who's flunked his course isn't going to relax the second you spout the overused - 'its going to be alright'. It will eventually, you should always remember that. But give yourself time to heal, time to figure out your future. There's always a plan B(suicide does not qualify as a plan). It's a matter of perspective and what you do with your life is going to be solely your choice(even if you apparently don't have a choice,it's because you've chosen not to have a choice). You can blame it on influences, pressure, anything at all, but but whether you want to be a victim of your circumstances or not is your choice. Always. It's the truth-naked and ugly, but so it is.

Here but really gone

I'm sitting in class,
Everyone's talking
At the top of their voices,
Yet I seem to hear nothing.
With a phoney smile I,
Ward off a billion questions.
Its so easy to deceive them,
And pretend that I care
About their trivialties.
I hate being a hypocrite,
Yet I am one,
For how else am I to behave
in need-based relationships?
We don't care yet we need,
Hence the sweet nothings
And small talk.
And empty smiles.
We're all brilliant actors.
So in that bustling classroom
I compliment, I smile
Infuse joie de vivre.
Laugh loudest,
After all I'm the one
Who's laughing last.
So with a mental smirk,
I continue being
The perfect listener.
And think about those,
Whom I really care for.
And I realise
That i'm here in class,
But in my mind I'm really gone.
I'm miles away.